Refried Neurons

Good morning, Ponta Delgada! What a great way to kick off the day. Homeboat delivers a breakfast hamper straight to your door – they even gave us a tablecloth, adding a little extra something special. Usually, when you get these breakfast baskets (which are pretty trendy these days) or stay in a basic hotel, the food is pretty simple. So, what we tend to do is grab some eggs (if there’s a kitchen) or maybe an avocado, because vegetables are often missing.

After that first breakfast, we headed out for a yoga session at the marina and a quick swim. There’s a small, sheltered ocean swimming spot right next to the marina. It’s not much to look at – just concrete – but locals seem to love it, and it was only a 3-minute walk from the boat. It’s so under the radar for tourists that even though we don’t look remotely Latin, everyone spoke to us in Portuguese.

Now, I’m never sure if cities are just missing a trick here or if it’s intentional. This area could be so much nicer and more attractive to tourists with a few trees, some greenery, or at least some shade. I get that some people love to roast themselves, but for those of us with pale skin, places like this don’t exactly invite you to hang around. Give it 15 minutes, and I’d look like the Polish flag, or with the ocean in the background, the Union Jack – either way, not the look I want on my dream holiday.

Speaking of, what about the locals? There were a few mothers with babies, and they were all huddled against a concrete wall in the only shaded spot – right next to the toilets! Seriously, aren’t we all a bit more aware of the skin cancer risks these days? Still, if you’re staying in the city center and want to cool off, it’s a decent spot, with showers and toilets available. But I wouldn’t recommend swimming in the marina itself – not sure what’s going on with the boat sewage situation. I saw a septic truck once, but I also heard water draining into the marina every time someone used the toilet. Yikes.

Last time we were in Ponta Delgada, we just grabbed a coffee before heading to Furnas, so this time we decided to wander around a bit. Some people visit churches and museums, but we didn’t bother. I’ve seen my fair share of churches in Madeira and elsewhere – and unless you’re in places like Rome or Florence where even non-believers go to admire the art and architecture, how many churches does one need to see?

What I always love more in Portugal, though, are the pavements. Yes, pavements! They’re like little works of art, showing historical scenes or just fabulous patterns. I wasn’t as in love with them when I was an Erasmus student in stilettos, trying not to break an ankle between clubs, but now? They’re beautiful! If you’ve never been or aren’t planning to, just check them out on Google Earth. The best I’ve seen so far are in Funchal, Madeira, but Ponta Delgada’s are pretty nice too.

The city center isn’t huge – about 3-4 streets full of souvenir shops, cafés, tourists, tour operators, and every so often, a guy with a Karcher spraying the pavement with what I assume is some anti-cockroach stuff. If you see him, stay far away. It’s suffocating and definitely bad for your health. I do feel disinfected, though!

Sadly, all the souvenir shops sell China-made junk. There’s absolutely nothing local – no art, no handicrafts, nothing. Just bags made out of cork (which doesn’t even grow in the Azores!) and other tacky crap. The only thing actually made here is alcohol: gin, wine, beer, etc.

Now, if you’re like me and have decided that the older you get, the worse your hangovers get, Super Bock’s alcohol-free beer is actually decent – way better than Sagres. Unfortunately, alcohol-free gin hasn’t made it to the islands yet.

Since it was Sunday, we used the day to explore the diving centers. Out of the four in Ponta Delgada, only one was open, and they didn’t have any availability until Thursday. Plus, a storm was coming, so no diving on Tuesday or Wednesday. With most places closed, we hopped into our Fiat 500 (I do love a Fiat 500!) and drove to check out the dive center on the other side of the island, in the village near our next accommodation.

Rabo do Peixe… how do I put this? No offense to the locals, but it’s a fucking dump. It’s absolutely horrible, like a village overrun by people who don’t give a shit, or slums taken over by a gang. At that point, I was seriously doubting if our next accommodation would even be livable. The dive center was completely shut, despite Google claiming it wasn’t. I mean, come on, people – it’s not hard to update your Google listing! And why doesn’t Google have a feature to mark a place as temporarily closed if no one’s visited for a while? They track us anyway, so they might as well make it useful!

At least the drive wasn’t too long, so we only wasted about 40 minutes of our lives. Next, we headed to Vila Franca do Campo – we’ve been and dived there before. It’s that iconic spot you see on every Azorean postcard, with the little islet just off the coast. Honestly, it looks better in the photos – especially the drone shots, which make it look way more impressive than it is in real life. I like drone footage sometimes, but it’s misleading when you’re trying to decide if a place is worth visiting. Unless you’re paragliding, you’re not going to see it like that. The islet is an old volcanic crater filled with ocean water, and you can take a boat or rent a kayak to explore. Bring your snorkel gear – there’s plenty of fish.

But we weren’t there for the scenery. We were still trying to find a dive center with availability for Monday or Tuesday. Well, lesson learned – we should have booked before landing. Both places were fully booked and said they wouldn’t be diving Tuesday or Wednesday because of the storm, so we finally booked for Thursday.

With that sorted, we had a quick look at the beach and then drove back to Ponta Delgada to catch another rooftop sunset and tune into our favorite radio show, which airs every Sunday at 7 pm London time.

It was an odd day, but my partner was happy – he had a slow morning with time to read and a relaxing afternoon. Then came dinner. Since we’d have our own kitchen for the next four nights and would be staying in the middle of nowhere, we decided to go out for a proper meal with wine. I did my research and found a restaurant with tons of great reviews, over 4.6 stars, and I was excited.

But it was such a letdown! Not terrible, but definitely a tourist hotspot with a chef trying too hard to be different and failing. The seats were uncomfortable, and they didn’t have enough staff. Or maybe my expectations were too high. When you go to a 3.5-star place, you expect decent food and are happy when it’s good. But if something has more than 4.6 stars, you start expecting greatness. Maybe it was the vibe – as Europeans, it definitely felt too Americanized, like they’re trying to cater to American tourists, the way the Canary Islands do for Brits and Germans. I hate that. What’s the point of flying from London to Bali if you’re just going to eat beans on toast? There are parts of the Canary Islands where you can’t even find Spanish food anymore – just burgers and bratwurst. If I wanted bratwurst, I’d go to Munich.

But I know this doesn’t come out of nowhere. My English friend who runs a café near Manchester once considered opening a food truck in the Algarve because, as she said, “You can’t even get a decent English breakfast in Portugal!” Well, of course not – it’s Portugal, not a British ex-colony.

A bit disappointed, we headed back to the boat and said goodnight to the city.